we can go higher

i have no idea how we take exams the way they are.
it's my 6th day of exams, i've just finished my 6th papers and there are only 2 more to go.

the paper starts at 10am everyday so we usually have a couple of hours to do some last minute studying (which i find rather useful), go down for recess at 9.20, come back up at about 9.45 and sit the paper. the thing was, the electricity died on us this morning as if the weather wasn't hot enough so no productive last minute studying was done and i found that it did affect how i did on the paper.

i'm grumpy because i'm sick of studying things that i think i already seem to know but don't know how to answer on the paper. ergh.

i feel super guilty when i don't study okay. i told you, i have this hyperactive guilt thing where i can feel guilty for everything that is and isn't my fault.

i feel mad. madder than ever. both the angry mad and ki siao mad because of exams. angry mad because my studying never seems to be productive enough and ki siao mad because of all the things i have to forego or cannot enjoy properly, the fixed schedules, the memorizing, the writing, the heatwave...

the best part about all this is that it ends in two days.

but the thing about suffering so much when you study is that the minute exams are over, you just want to drop all studying and forget about formulae and definitions forever. but when the next exam period comes round, you have to pick it all up again.

and i have this super diverse range of students in the class. the madly studious ones are super focused and manage to use the 3 hours to maximum capacity and write 16 pages of answers whilst the not so studious ones write about a page and a half of answers and use the rest of the 3 hours to maximum sleeping capacity.




p/s: ugh econs 1 tomorrow. the voon twins, fellow 6th formers in seremban, texted me to tell me that they are going mad from exams too. i'm not kidding, only exam madness of such magnitude and intensity is personified by Form 6ers.

pp/s: i think my holidays will be super packed and occupied.which is the way i like it.

ppp/s: people owe me money = i am broke = please pay me my money back.